I have a close friend who has been brought this problem to me for advice. She is married, has a child, and says she is very happy with her life. But for the last week or so, she has been engaging in conversation with a man she met online... And now she's wondering if this constitutes cheating.

I couldn't answer her honestly without knowing more. So we had a conversation that went something like this:

ME: "Well, does he know you're married?"

HER: "Yes. He knows I'm married, and that I have a child, and that our marriage is solid."

ME: "Okay. Is there flirting involved?"

HER: "Yes. But the playful, innocent kind. Like inter-office flirting. Nothing drty."

ME: "Have you exchanged photos or talked about sex?"

HER: "Nope."

ME: "Have you discussed intimate asexual things -- like your marriage / relationship, deep secrets, unfulfilled desires... etc?"

HER: "Yes. I've told him a few secrets, and given general info about things I like in a relationship. But I haven't badmouthed [the husband] or talked about private, physical things. We just talk about stuff that [the husband] isn't interested in."

ME: "Alright. Based on what you've told me, you're not really cheating -- but you're opening the door. Even innocent chatter about stuff that seems innocent is building a bridge to something unfaithful. And talking about stuff that you can't talk about with [the husband] can be emotional cheating."

My friend got upset at this answer, and we haven't talked in a couple of days.

Did I say something wrong? Do you agree or disagree with my assessment?

Like many others, it's time for my obligatory President Obama post.

Let me start by admitting this: I didn't vote in 2008. I was actually on my honeymoon at the time, and with the last-minute rush we didn't give a thought to absentee ballots. Nevertheless, I had intended to vote for Barack Obama. I was (and still am) a strong supporter of President Obama and his "change" campaign -- Lord knows we need change. I live in South Carolina, and my husband's family is from Florida; we come from "country" backgrounds, in the thick of narrow-minded Republican beliefs. But against my parents & grandmother, and my husband's parents & grandmother, I had no problem showing my dedication to the Democratic candidate.

I was ecstatic that he won. His speeches are mesmerizing -- his charisma, impeccable. He lights up the faces of everyone in his presence, and captivates each audience with a force I haven't seen before in my lifetime. He seems like the kind of guy who would help a struggling person load groceries into their car, or walk an old lady across the street, or pick up your keys if you dropped them. Barack Obama seems like an approachable person instead of a snobby politician, which means a whole to to me as a normal, working-class citizen. And this doesn't even begin to touch on his political worth.

Another thing that makes me a supporter is the fact that he is a family man, and notably proud of it. The Obamas appear to be a close-knit group, family-oriented and respectful of one another. Barack and Michelle are both highly successful career people, but they don't seem to let it interfere with the relationship they have with their children. I read an article somewhere that boasted something along these lines:

"They [The Obamas] give all youngsters, especially African-Americans, a positive group of role models... so they can aspire to become something other than a Jesse Jackson or a Soulja Boy." (paraphrased)

Also, I read this comment on a Yahoo! Answers post:

"Jesse Jackson has betrayed black America by keeping them away from success, by keeping them racially charged." ( I couldn't agree more.)

All this being said, I am really tired of the media constantly referring to him as "the first African-American president". I know it's a huge milestone in history -- a prideful time for black, biracial, or multiracial individuals, especially -- and I'm not trying to rain on that divine parade. But I think there's a time to let someone shine because of their profound victory and stop labeling them as a skin-color achievement. I wouldn't have cared if Obama was blue with green polka-dots -- I would have still voted for him based on his persuading debates and lack of mudslinging at his competition.

~~~(O)~~~

EDIT: Upon reading over my own post, another thing began to annoy me:

"________ Americans".  

Why do we as Americans keep singling out black people as "African Americans"? That is so detrimental to equality. If someone isn't born in Africa before becoming a U.S. Citizen, then they're not an African American -- they're simply American, just like me. Similarly, If you're of Asian descent, but you were born in the United States, you're not an Asian American -- you're simply American, just like me. I am of Irish descent, but I don't call myself Irish American because I wasn't born in Ireland... I was born here, a natural citizen of this amazing country, and therefore I am Simply American. I think people can (and should) be proud of their ethnicity, but why throw an extra label on yourself?? Aren't we labeled attractive, ugly, skinny, fat, tall, short, smart, dumb enough?? It irks me to no end.

That's my general opinion. Let the hate-comments begin.